Arranged marriage continues to be the traditional way of conducting marriages from the ancient times. Much have changed nowadays and today in many areas of the world especially the western part, marriage decision is totally left to the two people who decide to live together according to love, trust and resolve for each other. This love, trust and commitment is built over time by knowing each other. But in majority of the Middle East and south Japan marriage is still fully arranged or otherwise partly arranged by the elders in the family by other authorities and the so called gatekeepers of the society. These people have considerable affect on the family based on religious and caste based structures. - Clase Para Matrimonos y Parejas
Why don't we understand what an arranged marriage is and what are the positives and negatives of the arranged type of marriage. Further if you choose to go for an arranged marriage it might be also wise to take some tips and guidelines with this type of marriage. In the first place, we can define arranged marriages as marriages which can be primarily decided by organizations other than the two individuals who are actually going to get married. Additionally it is called as prearranged marriage. Because this kind of marriage is arranged by someone besides the persons actually getting married, the process of courtship is completely curtailed or shortened to some great extent. Now these "other persons" in highly traditional societies may include parents, family elders, relatives, priests and spiritual leaders. In a a bit more liberal atmosphere we are able to see the utilization of the assistance of matchmaking agents, family friends and matrimonial sites. It's been seen that the matrimonial sites offer at least some scope for that couple to know one another before getting married. All other avenues, to a huge extent are from the direct control and influence of the particular people getting married.
Arranged marriage: Positives of the arranged type of marriage
Now let's analyze the positive points of the arranged type of marriage. The foremost thing that makes mind when we discuss the positives of arranged marriage will be the full support of the families from each side. Arranged marriages are decided after great deal of meetings and discussions among parents and elder members inherited and therefore the chance of any discord inherited as regard to the marriage can be mostly eliminated out. Further these marriages are designed on a solid foundation of two families uniting and therefore the actual people getting married get lot of confidence. Actually the trust included in this increases to a great extent because of the all round approval. Arranged marriage settings actually remove lot of burden and uncertainty from the lives of the unmarried girls and boys. For example if the boy or even the girl fully know that they are going to get married only through arranged kind of marriage then they do not have to take the trouble of hunting their life partners by their very own. They can concentrate almost all their energies on more purposeful and fruitful endeavours like higher education and a career by leaving the decision of their marriage completely for their parents. The other making use of your arranged marriage include financial and physical support from both families for the newly wedded couple in terms of starting a new household of their own. Moreover the extended family also provides a cushion in relatively tougher times. The long run benefits of an arranged marriage include a secure environment for the next generation under the watchful eyes of the grandparents and a large family.
Arranged marriage: Negatives with the arranged type of marriage
Even as have discussed the positives of arranged marriage in great length we have to also be aware of the negatives and shortcomings from the arranged type of marriage. One of the biggest drawbacks of the arranged marriage is the most important decision of the person's personal life's taken by someone else. There is no work involved from the boy or the girl to find their life partner and there is no personal relationship between the boy and girl according to love, understanding and dedication to a live a life together. The boy and girl are strangers to each other and they don't know the likes and dislikes of each other. This can latter lead to lot of distress and will become a prime reason for marital discord. Further there's no guaranty that the trust between the families and elders which can be seen in the initial days continue for long. A small issue among the senior members of the family will get blown out of proportion and so the large egos with the parents and other senior members of the family can completely destroy the marriage. Further arranged marriages will be the biggest cause of dowry demands and dowry related problems. These marriages are also the biggest hindrance to personal development and independence in life. The girl and the boy become influenced by their families and they become not capable of even taking the smallest decisions of these life by their particular. Further there is great deal of interference from the families during the most trivial of matters as well as the boy and the girl never figure out how to sort of their lives how they want. Socially also arranged form of marriage is the biggest hindrance towards a society which is according to equality among the people. Arranged marriages will be the biggest propagators of the caste system and conservative spiritual convictions.
Arranged marriage: Strategies for arranged type of marriage
Every system has its positives and negatives. If you have decided that arranged marriage is the only way that you can get married in the current circumstances prevailing in your lifetime then it would be smart to increase the positives of the arranged marriage and prevent the negatives for the maximum extent. The top thing that you need to do would be to become accountable regarding your own marriage. Don't leave the choice of your marriage in other people hands. It is after all your life and therefore your opinion has to be respected. This is something you should communicate in your parents and elders inside your home. Next is the source of getting a good match. Today when communications take place at lightning speed it is good to use tools like online matrimonial sites for searching your lifetime partner. With this mode you will have some control in the buying process as you get a chance to directly get in touch with the other person to whom you will get married and further there is also chance of brief courtship through this mode. A minimum of by this method it is possible to know your life partner a little better before getting actually married and you may also minimize dowry related demands and problems.
Further check the horoscopes for a match if both families insist on it. This will increase the confidence one of the families as well as the those who are getting married. It is highly desirable to keep at least 3-4 months period gap involving the time the marriage is proscribed and the actual marriage date. Aside from courtship and understanding the other person, this time can be utilized for checking and rechecking the antecedents of the people who are getting married. This period can be also a good opportunity for that two families to mingle with one another and create enough rapport to ensure that any future misunderstandings can be avoided. Finally the most crucial point to remember would be that the success of any marriage whether arranged or love marriage is determined by the two individuals who are actually engaged and getting married. It is definitely in their hands to make the marriage a big success or perhaps a big failure.